|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
|
The moon is blank and absent, similar to your presence in my life. I can just barely see a piece of you that at one point was full, bright, and alive. Now, only a crescent remains, and I'm having a hard time remembering that the whole thing could have ever existed. Hopefully, one day soon, my moon will shine whole again.
| | |
| The other day I found a needle in my shoe. It's shinny point barely protruded from the lower inside rim, which made me think that someone was aiming for my achilles tendon, mistaking me once again for some sort of hero. I am not extremely strong, nor am I excessively stretchy (because apparently that is superhero worthy: See Incredibles)... I can't fly and I can't bend metal. The only thing even somewhat superhero worthy is that I rarely bruise... and I'm tolerant of pain to an exceptional level, but these things are really just superhero 101. How many superheroes do you know that are even able to be injured, especailly from someone other than their archenemy? I don't even have an archenemy, but rather there's just a coalition of people out there, who I can only say I hate because they remind me of myself to an uncomfortable degree.
I wonder if superheroes see part of themselves in their archenemies. It's something to ponder. And really if they just want to destroy all of the people/creatures... that remind them of themselves. Kind of like they see their alter ego seeping out through their nemesis' wide open pores, and how it's not fair for them to act on wants that the hero must supress.
Superheroes also seem to be pretty emotional, and I easily meet that requirement. My emotions are pretty cyclical. It begins with sadness, and then turns into anger, and then I just decide it's not a big deal and I'm content again. It never starts with anger... I guess it does sometimes with contentedness. Probably more so with contentedness because I'm generally complacent.. and there are only trivial things that spur sadness.
Superheroes... what are they there for? | | |
| Why is it that when bored we wonder aimlessly, as if a magnetic force is dragging us, towards the refrigerator/pantry area? Is it a global thing or just an American thing to eat when bored? And in that state of mind, nothing really will satisfy what you think you want to eat, because you aren't really hungry. Food is yummy though, and definitely a close second to cuddling when bored. (Just a recent thought... I seriously walked to my pantry at least ten times today, two of those ten times returning with something in hand)
Sweatshirts are what I wear, and want to wear, always. Well. You know what I mean. They're just the most comfortable things ever. I'm glad I'm going to a school in the mountains so I can wear sweatshirts without sweating. Stupid Georgia is not that accommodating.
So I was thoroughly elated when listening to... I think it was the radio. Strange, but there's this station that plays a lot of rock that I used to like, and I like the memories. It reminds me, it can't compare to, but it reminds me of that feeling of bass that you feel at live shows. The feeling of the bass vibrating through your bones, afterward leaving you dry and empty with this sort of existential feeling that you just experienced something spiritual and life altering. Even in the car, your legs are relieved so much that when the weight is removed you kind of float in your seat, thankfully constricted to the boundaries of the car structure should you attempt to float away like balloons children color the sky with. I like it. There is nothing else like it.
Sweet, so the last entry I wrote was OVER a month ago. Which means the next entry I write will be when it's SUPER close to... everyone who ever reads this knows what I'm talking about. I'm psyched!!! Woo. This summer is going to be the best summer ever. It's kind of weird how everyone is saying that... but it's all good. I'm happy, you're happy, lets be happy together.
| | |
|
I'm hungry for fruit, Specifically, for a fruit cocktail. In Light syrup if I have a choice. The problem with the fruit cocktail is the pears, which wouldn't be such a problem if you were here, you like pears. But, for me, the pears are too hard and not ripe enough, which was also the problem with that Asian Pear that I bought at Harris Teeter and ate in the Starbucks while you were working. That's depressing, that's not even there anymore. Anyways, what I do with my fruit cocktail is I eat the pears out first, bit of pear by bit of pear, because it pretty much messes up every other bite of fruit if I don't. It also seems to be the most filling of the fruits because by the time I'm done eating the pear, and the syrup - I have to have something to mask the awful texture, I'm tired of the fruit and really don't even want it anymore. But, when does being full actually ever stop anyone from eating?? So, next, as the syrupless mass begins to dry out, I work on the peaches. You don't like peaches and I'm glad. I don't really see how a peach could mask the smell of smoke, but that's another story. After the peaches are gone, and the pinnapple too, because I probably ate all the pineapple while trying to rid the bowl of the horrid pears because of the similarity of color... well, now grapes and cherries are left. I would say that grapes are about a fifth of the mixture. The grapes are really a neutral fruit. They pretty much taste like the syrup anyways, which one could say about the whole cocktail if they wanted, but I like to say there is a difference. Last, but in no way shape or form least, are the cherries... and well, in a good can, there are two cherries total, divided in half so there are four cherry pieces to give a speck of color to the can. These we might fight over, but I don't even know if you like fruit cocktail to begin with. I'm pretty naustiated by the time I get to the cherries. They kind of slide around in circles due to the hint of syrup that just bearly covers the bottom of the bowl. I'm thinking that I should've just eaten the cherries first, but then what would have been the point of eating the rest of the can? I look at the cherries, they look at me... their red eyes glarring... You have to wonder in this circumstance, do the cherries want to be eaten or not? Do they feel singled out??? So now I'll feel bad if I don't eat them and there's no point in having a guilty conscious for not eating four cherry halves. So I eat one and the others follow accordingly and that's the end of the fruit cocktail. This would be something that I would regret, but it's just a fruit cocktail. Just a fruit cocktail... And now it's done.
| | |
| Awaking to rain in the morning seems like it's God's way of saying I have off today, that I'm free to move throughout the world as I please and not be consummed by the rituals of daily life. Obvioulsy no one of importance has picked up on this word from God or rain would be a National Holiday. The song with the words "rain, rain, come again another day" wouldn't even exist.
Maybe I feel worse than usual today because I can't stop everything and just sit, staring at my window. Maybe it's because I know that if I did, I'd be doing it alone. It's hard to hold back tears that the sky so generously releases. So I just have to suck it up, crying won't fix anything. Nobody will even notice if a tear breaks loose, they'll just think it's the rain on my face.
she was hungry so hungry
she was trying to think clear
she kept opening the fridge door
looking at the mustard and the beer
then finally she went out into the rain
carrying her bicycle chain
and her feet worked the pedals
while her appetite steered
-Ani DiFranco
A lot has changed since my last entry, so much that my name could be changed from ifyouonlyknew to nowyouknow. Kind of fun.
| | |
|
